Only Human
by Megami.Ze
Summary: He was, after all, only human. As was she. Having everything taken away brings out the true fears, desperation and wants in him in only a way that she understands. All they can do is cling to each other and brave the cruel reality. Royai.


_A/N: Finally, I'm writing what I love. More specifically _who_ I love_. _Roy and Riza are complete and only true pairing. I am completely head over heels for them. I totally feel, understand and analyze them. I feel them on a personal level. I have been wanting to write Royai fanfiction for quite some time now but I never felt that I could accurately write them. They are so... _there are no words_... that I never wanted to write a story about them that doesn't portray them correctly. The complete burning emotion that ties them undeniably together. You cannot write them half heartedly. Your heart and head must be in it. And I feel like I almost achieved that with this oneshot. It's far from perfect but I think I managed to capture one of the aspects of their truly epic relationship. This oneshot is based after episode 25 of FMA: Brotherhood/chapter 52, when Riza was transferred to Bradley as his aide so she could be a makeshift hostage._

_Please enjoy._

_Oneshot was inspired by the song Flowers for a Ghost by Thriving Irony (lyrics included). _

**

* * *

**

_Only Human_

* * *

_Who will bring me flowers when it's over,_

_And who will give me comfort when it's cold,_

_Who will I belong to when the day just won't give in,_

_And who will tell me how it ends and how it all begins._

_.  
_

_Don't ever say goodbye._

_.  
_

* * *

The silence around him was the echo of his own mind. Empty, hollow, stunned, _scared_. His hand that sat on his tense knee hadn't stopped shaking since he had got in the car. His heart hadn't stopped throbbing.

She had been taken away.

The finality of those words terrified him. Without a single warning she has been taking from him and used as a _hostage_. His entire world had inverted; his _strength _had been taken away, his support pillar pulled down too _fucking _easily!

His fist thumped awkwardly with aggression against the car door.

He should have protected her! He should have been prepared, then she wouldn't be in danger like this; in the hands of a _homunculus. _What kind of a man was he to get her involved so deeply in this! He had sworn to protect her. He really was _useless. _

His blood turned to ice.

If Bradley had used her against him like this… Bradley knew that to him she was… she…

His breath rushed out through his clenched teeth and his head fell into his hands.

"Sir…" her voice was full with no warning; only barely restrained heartbreak.

He said nothing as he ran over the lines of the array on his gloves with his eyes. (Yet another thing he _hated _himself for). His silence was not to spite her, and against what she thought, it was _her _silence that _killed _him.

Where was her blame?! Where was her fury? Yet again she was in danger; yet _again _he had done this. Why didn't she complain?! How could she continue to walk behind him (_when he wanted her to be beside him_) carrying the shards of his mistakes and promises, the blistered scar upon her back a sick literal example, without offering a word of hatred or disdain?! Why couldn't she _blame _him?!

The car stopped on a barren street but neither the Colonel nor his Lieutenant moved.

"Sir…" It would only ever be apparent to Mustang how hard she was trying to keep her voice stoic. "I'm sor - "

"_Don't_," The words ripped out of him. He swallowed deeply after she flinched at the unintended ferocity of his words. "Lieutenant." He fumbled for an ending that would try to mask the unprofessional outburst that only proved he was in too deep.

But it was too late. He was drowning.

"Don't apologize, Lieutenant," he swallowed. She drew in a breath to retaliate but the firm warning (and _begging_) in his eyes made the words catch in her throat. She turned back to face the windshield and closed her eyes slowly, tightly. Her chest pained more than he imagined. "Not for something that's my-"

" - Sir!"

He looked up with shocked eyes up to her body that was reared around, a heaving chest and flaming pained eyes.

He wondered with a heavy heart if her eyes always looked like that as she followed him through fire and failure. It was so _unfair_. He laughed softly in a way that made her wince.

"We're so pathetic, Hawkeye." He could taste her name on his lips, ready to spill, but only his willpower for their preservation kept her name silent.

"Colonel…" his instinct was correct: his name burned her lips too. It was too dangerous. They had been forced to silence, desperate to say that which goes unsaid. "I - "

"Major Armstrong should be here soon," he cut her off. Anything she said would push him to the verge of no return; and he was already teetering on the very brink. Hawkeye looked down to her numb hands and closed her eyes for a moment before uttering a faint 'yes, sir.'

Every second killed him. Every moment living in this god forsaken situation was driving him insane; beyond what was healthy. How could she be by him, so completely _close_, but so mind numbingly far?

She had opened her own door and come around to open his as she was supposed to. It made his skin crawl. Why should she serve him like this? How could he be of more value than _her_; how could he even be of the same value as her? And yet she was _here _withstanding the mutual pain for his sake…

She opened his door.

There was only so much self hatred one could take.

He clung to her like a blind man; and she was completely crushed into his embrace. His hands fisted in her thick military jacket until his knuckles were white. He had to keep her so impossibly close as if she were his very breath.

And in a sense, she was.

She stood awkwardly; crouched before him as he clung to her. The back of her eyes burned with tears and her hands fisted at her sides in a desperate attempt not to grab at the back of his jacket in her own embrace. Her face was barely above his shoulder. He could feel her ragged, labored breaths.

"Sir –" she forced.

"Don't -" he begged. His face was pressed against her shoulder; his knuckles began to hurt. "Just _don't-"_

He was only human after all.

Riza broke apart. Her own fingers tore into his heavy wool jacket; the barrier between them, and she turned her head into his shoulder to hide tears she was fighting back. She held him in her unbreakable embrace, yet not as strongly as his desperate one.

"_Mustang…_" the formality was like acid on her lips.

Roy moved barely an inch to speak. "_After everything… can't you just say it?_" he pleaded, the rasp of his voice a testament to his breaking mind. His grip on her tightend.

"_Can't you just say mine?_" she responded with a voice equally as raspy.

That was the breaker. That barrier that was always between them. No matter how _completely _they wanted it removed. The cruelty of it was endless. They needed their positions for their goals and their promises; but they needed each other.

He wanted to respond that he wanted to more than anything but he didn't have to. She already knew with every ounce of her body that was now smothered by his.

They clung to each other far longer than was safe. And with consuming loss they let go of one another. Their gazes locked and their eyes shared the same longing. Riza's hand touched the side of his face for a brief moment. The mutual understanding was palpable. It was impossible for any other people to be so… together; like they were. Mundane terms like 'love' couldn't even begin to describe the feelings they shared for one another. It was all beyond words that could express it.

With stinging regret she drew back from his warmth and checked the street. It was still empty. Somewhere a god still pitied them. She turned to the front to see Major Armstrong. Her heart stopped.

Major Alex Louis Armstrong would act as if he saw nothing. Since he had no right to see what had just broken down in front of him. He was in no position to judge or report them. _This _was not his business at all. And also with one look into Mustang's forlorn eyes he learned more than he could have ever imagined about the enigma that was Roy Mustang and his Lieutenant, Riza Hawkeye.

.

_I'm only human._

* * *

_I need you more than I want you, and I want you all the time._

_

* * *

_

_A/N: The very last line is the title of an art piece I saw in an art gallery and I thought the line was absolutely beautiful._

_If you have the time please drop a **review** my way. I am constantly trying to improve my writing and having out people points of view is really fantastic. Constructive critisim, praise, or not praise, I don't mind. Anything is great :D_

-Ze


End file.
